Contentment
Contentment. This word has really been in my thoughts and prayers this week. I have been looking it up, studying it, trying to figure it out, and I’m frightened by what I have found because I know it is my weakness. We, by nature, are discontent; we always want more and better. Is that such a bad thing? Not always; discontent can help us overcome obstacles and become better people. At the same time, an attitude of discontent can be terribly damaging. My recent (and ongoing) struggle with the Enemy has shown me how dangerous discontent can truly be. If I had been content with my present life, it would not have been so easy to tempt me. Because I had this secret desire way down deep, it was simple for Satan to offer me the “solution” to take me off of my path. The fact is, I have learned to be incredibly content in the last several months, but deep down I still have this feeling of discontent about one thing: my deepest desire. It’s the thing I crave over all else, and for that reason it is the most dangerous thing in my life.
Wikipedia defines contentment as “the enjoyment of whatever may be desired.” I would disagree with that, because that definition requires us to be discontent until we have achieve our desires. This simply is not a possibility; as human beings we always want more, and we will never reach the point when there is no more we want. God’s purpose for us had nothing to do with getting everything we want; it’s being thankful for all that we have. Think about how much better our lives would be if we could just take each day being thankful for what God has given us, and ignoring all of the things we’ve asked for but not been given. Life is a fragile thing; there is no guarantee that any of us will be here tomorrow, so why do we keep waiting? Life is happening now! We have to learn to be content with what we have.
I wonder how much of my own personal discontent stems from my unwillingness to be content. Deep down I think I’m scared that if I become content with the life I have, God will leave me here and never give me more. What I need to understand is that God has a plan for me, and it’s going to happen whether I’m content with it or not. If I have to choose between being happy with where I’m at and living my life to the fullest or griping about it all the time, I’ll choose the former, thank you very much.
As I struggle with my own discontent, and as I realize the power I have given it over me, I realize that something has to change. Of course, this is all easier to say than to do; every single day I struggle, asking God “why, why, why?” Instead of just saying “thank you.” Praising Him for walking me through my life, and thanking Him for all that He has given me (which I truly do believe is so much more than I deserve) leads to a better me. A happier me. I’m tired of waiting for the right amount of money, better furniture, nicer looks, and that one person who’s meant for me. I’m going to seize this life I have NOW, and enjoy it as much as I can. Worry and want are human nature, but God calls us to something higher. God calls us to praise Him, to be content in Him, and to know that He will provide us with all of our needs. He will not forsake us; I know this because at every critical junction in my life He is there waiting to help me through. That thought in itself is contentment to me.
